Perfect Imperfections

It begins with a basic cake. 1/2 sheet, 1/4 sheet or multiple layers, this is where it begins. I assemble my tools and prepare the icing, look at my notes one more time and then proceed to create.

Each step in my creation process is always a huge ordeal. I spend a lot of time staring at the bare cake surface, envisioning the end result. What picture to draw (my specialty is hand drawn pictures on cakes), how to position the flowers (for wedding cakes and such) and what colors to mix to achieve just the right hue. Once all that is completed, I pray for God to guide my hands and get to work.

I've been decorating cakes for 30 years. The process is both exhilarating and at times agonizing. There are no "cookie cutter" cakes that leave my home. Each is uniquely designed with the recipient in mind, and though I may use the same design as requested, no two ever turn out the same. Truth be told, each and every cake has some imperfections. Most of the time, I am the only one who notices them. I see the flaws and agonize, the recipient sees a cake that was specially made, just for them and it gives them joy.

I have learned a lot over the years through the use of this gift. The most important of which is to look at imperfections not as flaws, but unique imprints of the creators hand.

This realization has caused me to think about how God has fashioned me ( or any of us). Though he begins with a "basic" design ( man or woman) there are no "cookie cutter" children in his eyes. We are each uniquely designed with a specific purpose in mind.

We with our narrow way of viewing things only look at the outside. A baby born with a cleft lip, the man on TV who looks like a werewolf because of a condition that makes his hair grow at such a rapid rate, we look upon them with pity as if they are somehow less of a person or flawed. Do we think that their condition was an accident, a bad twist of fate?

If we believe that God created them then we have to believe that he did so just as they are. That he was actually aware of what he was doing and was purposeful in doing it.That reality has certainly given me pause to re-evaluate how I view others! To look at their imperfections not as flaws, but imprints of God's hands.

It's the total opposite of my cake decorating experience. In this case the recipient (us) dwell on the flaws ( and agonize), and our creator (God) sees the whole of us as perfect (because we have been cleansed with the blood of Jesus) and it gives him great joy!

I also like to think that each creation process for him is a huge ordeal as well ( not in terms of difficulty), that he gives great thought and envisions the end result. And unlike us he actually knows the end result.

This is the part where I can relate to his creation process being both exhilarating and agonizing. Exhilarating to know that the purpose he intends for many will be fulfilled, and agonizing because he knows that others will fall away. Their fate is a lot worse than that of one of my cakes that fall.

Eternal separation from God,their creator, the one who loves them most.

The cakes become dessert for the family. (That gives them great joy)!!

Psalm 139:13-16 (NLV)

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous--and how well I know it.
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

A Drink Offering

Some cups He allows to pass.

Others He allows to be poured out.

Like a drink offering.

A sacrifice is required.

For the past several months, every aspect of my time spent studying the word of God has been centered around prayer. My Tuesday evening bible study, my Monday evening home group. Even my devotionals' have brought me to a place where God seems to be asking me to evaluate my prayer life. More specifically HOW I pray.

I am the first to admit that I needed a serious overhaul when it came to consistency. Oh I planned well enough, where when, how much time, etc.. But when it came to the part of actually executing my well thought out plan, I stumbled, but good. I was pretty good at the amount of time I spent praying (when I managed to fit it in to my schedule). But even then I often walked away feeling more dutiful than filled. And so began God's response to my question, "What am I missing"?

Of course I realize that it was by no accident that for next few months, all of what I studied centered on prayer. I don't think I was even aware of it at first. I did my homework, looked up the Greek meaning of "key" words, cross referenced scripture with scripture and came prepared with answers for each study. I negotiated a bit more time into my day for "alone time" with God and before I knew it (meaning after many weeks) I got it!

I am almost embarrassed to discuss my "revelation" as it is so basic. It's not in any way new information. I have heard this before, even quoted it to others. It comes straight out of The Lord's Prayer and here it is, "Thy Will Be Done" This is the strategic part of the prayer that I have unintentionally or I am sure is more the case, intentionally avoided.

It's that part that when you conjure up an image in your mind while reading a passage; that takes you directly to the scene of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. It's an agonizing scene, one where you know what the outcome is even before the curtain falls. "God's will, not my will". Sacrifice! That's what I have been missing!

I really believe that God knows that my prayers are sincere. I pray with faith that my God can do anything. I have witnessed it time and time again. The problem was that a good majority of my time involved asking "will you? (do this for me or my whomever) and too little time spent asking "what is required of me"?

I think too often we come to God in prayer (especially in times of crisis) and desperately ask him to "let this cup pass from me" This is of course a natural human response and a totally acceptable request. But what if we approached God with our request in the same way that Jesus did. Hearts open, fully aware as the words are spoken that the cup might not be taken away, but instead that He will allow it to be poured out, and offer ourselves up willingly as a sacrifice; prepared to do what he requires even before we ask?

I am striving to come before God with a heart of submission. This I find to be difficult at times. The greater the need, the harder to let go. I don't think that it is any coincidence that my current week of devotions have been centered around trust.

I am seeking. He is teaching.

At The End of The Day

My days are full lately. Some of my time is filled with mundane "daily things" dishes, dinner and such. Other moments are spent working, talking and praying with folks on the phone, attending church events (bible study, book club etc..) and driving a myriad of places for a myriad of reasons. I was voted "most likely to join if a new group forms" by some friends because my name showed up in half of the categories on our churches "group list". Some say that I should learn what the word NO means and use it. The thing is I don't want to say no.

My greatest fear, is that at the the end of the day when I ask, "Lord did I serve you well"? He will say no. This is hard, because the reality is most days I fall way short of the mark. My hearts desire is to serve God. This of course seems easy when you go on a missions trip or put in time at a homeless shelter. There you"re purpose driven. The goal is clear. But what about the other times? Exactly how does one measure service to God? Is it more prayer, diligent bible study, or random acts of kindness? Is it saying Yes more often than saying No when someone asks for a moment of your time?

I have spent a lot of time this week searching for an answer to this question. For those who wish to chime in, don't worry I know that "works" won't get you into heaven. I totally understand that it's the blood plus nothing. This is not what I am referring to. I'm talking about SERVING GOD. What does this look like?

I thought that I was getting a handle on it, until this week when I hit a brick wall. I have gotten quite a few calls this week from folks searching for some Godly wisdom and counsel. I haven't been able to muster up much. All I have managed for the most part is to cry with them, laugh with them and pray with them. No wisdom surfaced. I had no answer for their pain. God has been silent and I can't explain it. So I found myself retreating. Voice mail answered my calls, and I avoided any type of contact that didn't involve a commitment I had previously agreed to. O.K. So now I'm in hiding. Can't very well serve anyone like this. Paul never quit! I needed help.

God knew it too. (I know, no big surprise) I sought His forgiveness for bailing on Him. He responded with a gentle hand and a loving admonishment. "I don't require you to answer for their pain, only that you respond and not ignore it. I have entrusted to you a gift of compassion, this is why they call. If you answer and cry, or laugh, or pray with them. Then you have served me well this day".

Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in it's various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen! 1 Peter 4:10-11