A Drink Offering

Some cups He allows to pass.

Others He allows to be poured out.

Like a drink offering.

A sacrifice is required.

For the past several months, every aspect of my time spent studying the word of God has been centered around prayer. My Tuesday evening bible study, my Monday evening home group. Even my devotionals' have brought me to a place where God seems to be asking me to evaluate my prayer life. More specifically HOW I pray.

I am the first to admit that I needed a serious overhaul when it came to consistency. Oh I planned well enough, where when, how much time, etc.. But when it came to the part of actually executing my well thought out plan, I stumbled, but good. I was pretty good at the amount of time I spent praying (when I managed to fit it in to my schedule). But even then I often walked away feeling more dutiful than filled. And so began God's response to my question, "What am I missing"?

Of course I realize that it was by no accident that for next few months, all of what I studied centered on prayer. I don't think I was even aware of it at first. I did my homework, looked up the Greek meaning of "key" words, cross referenced scripture with scripture and came prepared with answers for each study. I negotiated a bit more time into my day for "alone time" with God and before I knew it (meaning after many weeks) I got it!

I am almost embarrassed to discuss my "revelation" as it is so basic. It's not in any way new information. I have heard this before, even quoted it to others. It comes straight out of The Lord's Prayer and here it is, "Thy Will Be Done" This is the strategic part of the prayer that I have unintentionally or I am sure is more the case, intentionally avoided.

It's that part that when you conjure up an image in your mind while reading a passage; that takes you directly to the scene of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. It's an agonizing scene, one where you know what the outcome is even before the curtain falls. "God's will, not my will". Sacrifice! That's what I have been missing!

I really believe that God knows that my prayers are sincere. I pray with faith that my God can do anything. I have witnessed it time and time again. The problem was that a good majority of my time involved asking "will you? (do this for me or my whomever) and too little time spent asking "what is required of me"?

I think too often we come to God in prayer (especially in times of crisis) and desperately ask him to "let this cup pass from me" This is of course a natural human response and a totally acceptable request. But what if we approached God with our request in the same way that Jesus did. Hearts open, fully aware as the words are spoken that the cup might not be taken away, but instead that He will allow it to be poured out, and offer ourselves up willingly as a sacrifice; prepared to do what he requires even before we ask?

I am striving to come before God with a heart of submission. This I find to be difficult at times. The greater the need, the harder to let go. I don't think that it is any coincidence that my current week of devotions have been centered around trust.

I am seeking. He is teaching.

At The End of The Day

My days are full lately. Some of my time is filled with mundane "daily things" dishes, dinner and such. Other moments are spent working, talking and praying with folks on the phone, attending church events (bible study, book club etc..) and driving a myriad of places for a myriad of reasons. I was voted "most likely to join if a new group forms" by some friends because my name showed up in half of the categories on our churches "group list". Some say that I should learn what the word NO means and use it. The thing is I don't want to say no.

My greatest fear, is that at the the end of the day when I ask, "Lord did I serve you well"? He will say no. This is hard, because the reality is most days I fall way short of the mark. My hearts desire is to serve God. This of course seems easy when you go on a missions trip or put in time at a homeless shelter. There you"re purpose driven. The goal is clear. But what about the other times? Exactly how does one measure service to God? Is it more prayer, diligent bible study, or random acts of kindness? Is it saying Yes more often than saying No when someone asks for a moment of your time?

I have spent a lot of time this week searching for an answer to this question. For those who wish to chime in, don't worry I know that "works" won't get you into heaven. I totally understand that it's the blood plus nothing. This is not what I am referring to. I'm talking about SERVING GOD. What does this look like?

I thought that I was getting a handle on it, until this week when I hit a brick wall. I have gotten quite a few calls this week from folks searching for some Godly wisdom and counsel. I haven't been able to muster up much. All I have managed for the most part is to cry with them, laugh with them and pray with them. No wisdom surfaced. I had no answer for their pain. God has been silent and I can't explain it. So I found myself retreating. Voice mail answered my calls, and I avoided any type of contact that didn't involve a commitment I had previously agreed to. O.K. So now I'm in hiding. Can't very well serve anyone like this. Paul never quit! I needed help.

God knew it too. (I know, no big surprise) I sought His forgiveness for bailing on Him. He responded with a gentle hand and a loving admonishment. "I don't require you to answer for their pain, only that you respond and not ignore it. I have entrusted to you a gift of compassion, this is why they call. If you answer and cry, or laugh, or pray with them. Then you have served me well this day".

Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in it's various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen! 1 Peter 4:10-11

The Surgeon

The knife cut deep, the blood flowed freely. He winced, grateful for the mask which hid his expression. His reaction confused him. How many times had he done this before? Yet there was this feeling of sadness, a grief so deep he was on the verge of tears. He looked down at the face of this young boy, barely 12 and already his life was filled with pain and suffering, yet it never seemed to bother him. Always optimistic and encouraged, he gave hope to others around him. People seemed drawn to him.

His mind wandered as he recalled a story told to him long ago by his mother. It too involved a young man who's life was surrounded by pain and suffering. She spoke fondly of this young man's journey. How he inspired hope and offered rest for the weary. How people would flock to hear him and beg just to be touched by him. Once again the surgeon felt a wave of grief as he remembered how the story ended. A crown of thorns, nails, a cross, the images flooded his thoughts and a tear ran down his face. Again his reaction confused him, for he had heard the story many times, yet this time something was different. His heart had been pierced, but instead of pain he felt peace.

He looked once again at the boy on the table and he understood. In the same way he needed to remove his leg in order to save his life, so too did this man Jesus need to die in order to save ours.

A nurse then asked a question and he responded with a nod. He handed the instruments to his assistant and told him to finish up. He then turned and left the room.

Two were healed that day!